


An Unfortunate Upsidedowning

by Septems



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Infidelity, Light Science Fiction, M/M, Slow Build, im messy and live for drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:21:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6359116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septems/pseuds/Septems
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thousands of people disappear overnight across the world. Among them are Kageyama, Dachi, Tsukishima and Noya, who work for the Karasuno Publishing Firm. When they return the next day, it becomes apparent that they are not the same people they used to be.</p><p>Hinata struggles to maintain a workable relationship as an author with his editor Kageyama, and Sugawara tries to push away doubts that Tsukishima has planted in his mind. </p><p>(basically: a weird thing happens that screws up everything. parallel worlds are real, apparently. lots of hurt feelings, romance, and inaccurate depictions of the book publishing business)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hello stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first work I've published cries. Please be gentle. I don't know exactly what this is, but hopefully someone enjoys it!

Hinata woke up on his stomach. The light streaming in through the windows was bright and he groaned when his back cracked loudly. He was groggy, and a bit sore from passing out in such a terrible sleeping position, but the frown on his face broke into a small smile when his hands ran over the navy blue sheets on the bed--Kageyama’s bed.

The night before had been a nightmare, with Hinata desperately trying to make adequate progress on his novel while attempting to avoid distraction from his month-long boyfriend. Who was, unfortunately, also his editor.

It was fun until they were both rushing through drafts, which made revising anything incredibly difficult. They were both distracted easily by shy smiles and casual conversation, and it surprised Hinata every time to realize that his Kageyama’s intimidating aura was only skin deep, and not representative of his true demeanor at all.

After another five minutes, Hinata finally found it in himself to pull himself up from the warmth of the bed, but frowned when he realized the other side was cold and had been for some time. There was no noise coming from the kitchen, no clinking of dishes that usually filled the mornings when Hinata stayed over. It was eerily quiet for nine in the morning, and while Kageyama's phone was charging silently on the nightstand, he was nowhere in sight.

“Tobio?” Hinata called.

He headed toward the bathroom and was disappointed when he found nothing. A mild annoyance began to brew in his gut when there wasn’t even a note on the kitchen table. Even more worrisome was the fact that his unfinished manuscript was still sitting on the coffee table where he’d left it last night.

Hinata grabbed his phone and speed dialed. The line rang five times before a cheerful voice greeted him.

“Hello?”

“Suga-san! Is Tobio at the firm?”

“Wow, straight to the point,” Sugawara laughed.

Hinata waited, almost vibrating as he heard distant clacking of Sugawara’s fingers on his keyboard. There were perks to being close with the receptionist. Hinata could be as nosy as he wanted and Sugawara would always indulge him.

“Hmm...no. He never signed in. And now that I think about it, I didn’t see Daichi, Tsukishima or Noya come in either.”

The unpleasantness in Hinata’s stomach only grew stronger. His hand clutched the phone as he chewed on his bottom lip.

“Hinata. Hinata?” Sugawara said after a stretch of silence.

“S-sorry,” Hinata sputtered. “It’s just--I came over yesterday to get some work done. I must’ve fallen asleep but Tobio’s not here. He didn’t leave a note or take his phone so…”

“Maybe he went to the store?”

From the sound of Sugawara’s voice Hinata knew he wasn’t worried. A person like him always cared, but Hinata knew that out of all his friends, Sugawara was the most rational and was the least likely to jump to conclusions. Even so, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

“You’re probably right. Sorry to bother you! I know you’re busy.”

Sugawara laughed at that. “No more than you or anyone else here. And you know I’m always happy to help.”

“Thank you, Suga-san.” Hinata sped past a few more pleasantries out of politeness and then hung up, feeling strangely cold and too jittery for his own good.

He paced in the kitchen for about ten minutes, hoping that Kageyama would return with coffee and red cheeks from the winter chill outside, but he didn’t. After an hour, Hinata’s shoulders were tense and his back was aching from sitting so long at the kitchen table.

At some point he had to go back to the Karasuno Publishing firm, since Tobio had not taken his manuscript in for a progress check. It was the last thing he wanted to do, leaving without knowing if Kageyama was okay, but he would feel stupid if his book deal flopped because of an overreaction. Sugawara already reassured him, hadn’t he? And Sugawara was usually right.

Sighing, Hinata went to get a clean change of clothes from his bag and tossed his dirty ones into Kageyama’s near-full hamper. It would be a pain to wash his clothes too.

“Serves him right,” Hinata muttered under his breath.

With one last look around, he locked the door from the inside and walked away, the weight of his manuscript nothing in comparison to the heavy feeling in his chest.

* * *

It was close to five when he finally finished going through revisions with Yamaguchi, who was a great help coming in to edit and give him advice so last minute even when his own schedule was packed. Hinata was grateful, but definitely was not looking forward to the dirty looks that Tsukishima would no doubt give him when he heard about his collaboration with Yamaguchi. He was Tsukishima’s regular editor after all, and the blonde tended to be selfish when sharing resources.

In the lobby, Hinata pulled on his coat and took the time to shove his marked-up papers into his bag. The last thing he wanted was to drop everything, which had happened on more than one occasion.

“Long day?” Sugawara asked from behind his desk, grinning as he held up the sign-in-sign-out sheet.

Hinata let his shoulders drop and nodded as the took the clipboard.

“Yamaguchi is great but I’m used to Tobio,” Hinata scribbled a signature quickly. Sugawara then manually imputed his information into the computer.

“Plus, I don’t like anticipating Tsukishima looking like he’s going to kill me whenever we have to share editors.”

“The life of a writer.” Sugawara sighed for dramatic emphasis, and sure enough it had Hinata blushing to the tops of his ears.

“This is only the second one going to get published! I’m really not--”

“Ah, ah!” Sugawara shook his head. “I don’t want to hear whatever it is you’re going to say. Not from someone so promising.”

Hinata’s mouth closed mid-sentence, unsatisfied with being cut off but flattered. He decided not to pursue it and simply waved goodbye after wrapping a scarf around his neck.

When he got home, the first thing Hinata did was was call Kageyama’s cell. It rung, and rung, with no answer until Hinata hung up in frustration. There were no texts or voicemails, no nothing. It wasn’t like him to not come to work and drop off the face of the planet without so much as a warning. He was always meticulous, and kind enough to hate worrying anyone about anything.

Hinata chewed on his fingernail. Eventually, he gave up on trying to get through to the other’s phone and plopped down on his couch. There was no use in working himself up when he couldn’t even do anything, so instead he grabbed the remote and began flipping through channels until he settled on the six o’clock news.

_“--unusual reports of disappearances which have been confirmed not only in Japan but in other countries as well. What people thought to be isolated incidents appear to have happened globally, all at once and in random variation.”_

Hinata’s eyes widened, fingers unconsciously tightening as he turned up the volume. His heart was thudding quickly in his chest as he watched the newscaster on screen.

_“Police have begun to take varying levels of action. It is still unclear what exactly is happening. We only know for a fact that large amounts of people have seemingly vanished. If you suspect someone you know has--”_

At that, Hinata muted the television. His head was humming, breath coming in shallow gulps of air. What was this? From the moment he’d woken up today, nothing had made sense, and now there was this. It wasn’t exactly panic that was filling him. It felt more like the air was getting thinner and he could do nothing but sit and try to breathe.

He tried not to think about the possibility of kageyama being in danger, but the newscast had shaken him and left him confused.

He unmuted the television and flipped through a few more news channels, hoping that maybe the first station he’d settled on was doing some sort of prank or hoax. But sure enough, other networks were reporting the same thing, and a quick look through news websites on his phone revealed the authenticity of the reports.

Something like ice settled over his skin, and Hinata simply sat listening to the same broadcast until he couldn’t take it anymore and shut it off, threw his phone to the other side of the couch and curled up on it. All he wanted to do was sleep. And with the television turned off, everything felt far enough away that he could almost pretend it didn’t exist.

Hinata drifted off gradually, fighting off his quiet anxiety up until the moment he finally fell into a black and dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

The vibration of his phone woke him up before his obnoxious ringtone. Hinata’s eyes immediately darted to the clock hanging just above the door leading out of his apartment.

It was barely six in the morning, and only a few streaks of sunlight had begun to slide through the window. With irritation and a shiver, Hinata rubbed his face with one hand and searched blindly for his phone with the other. When he saw the caller ID read ‘Suga,’ he was suddenly more awake.

“Suga-san?”

“Hinata,” he sounded calm as always, but Hinata had known him long enough to know when he was on edge. “Are you near the T.V.?”

“Y-yes...I slept--”

“Turn it on. It’ll be quicker than explaining.”

Hinata was still in a slight daze of morning fuzziness and confusion, and he was about to ask what channel Sugawara was even meaning for him to see but before anything could leave his mouth, the question was answered for him. Hinata sat rapt in attention, phone pressed close to the side of his face as he leaned forward and watched hundreds of people wander through the streets of Tokyo. Some of them he even recognized as neighbors and people who bagged his groceries at the supermarket, but what made his breath catch in his throat was when the aerial camera panned over Kageyama’s face, looking annoyed and just the slightest bit fearful.

The vacuum his senses were in suddenly broke and Hinata could hear the broadcaster’s voice come in through the speakers.

_“--developing story from last night which we are now following up live in this breaking news segment. The disappearances which occurred early morning yesterday en masse have resolved themselves. Around the same time this morning we began getting reports of crowds wandering the streets in a daze, apparently all people who were reported missing.”_

A strange mix of relief and utter confusion thrummed through Hinata’s body. The camera zoomed out again but he could still pick Kageyama out from the crowd.

“Suga-san, what is this?”

“It’s on every channel right now,” Sugawara said. “Apparently people were missing since yesterday. And I just--yesterday when you told me that you hadn’t seen Kageyama…”

“I see him,” Hinata said, already pulling on the shoes that he had haphazardly kicked off last night. His clothes were rumpled and his hair a bit greasy, but none of that mattered. “I just saw him. I’m going to go wait by his apartment. You should go try to find Daichi-san, too.”

“He already dropped by with Tsukishima and Noya,” Sugawara explained. “Be careful, Hinata. No one really knows what’s going on yet.”

Hinata just barely remembered to lock his own door and was already jamming his finger into the elevator button by the middle of Sugawara’s sentence, but he assured him that he would be cautious before hanging up.

From his place to Kageyama’s it was about fifteen minutes on foot, and Hinata wasted no time in getting there even though he ended up winded and out of breath by the time he reached Kageyama’s apartment complex. There, he finally tried to calm himself and even knocked on his door. There was no reply, so Hinata simply leaned against the wall and waited.

Time was, at once, going too fast and too slow. Cars seemed to sluggishly trod along, but Hinata’s thoughts were garbled and warped as they zoomed past him much too quickly to make sense. He was about check his cell phone again, maybe call Sugawara, but when he looked up he saw a familiar head of hair turning the corner and he rushed over with a speed that surprised even him.

“Tobio--” Hinata called when he reached Kageyama and ignored the disoriented look the other shot him in favor of wrapping his arms around his neck.

It was comforting to feel this familiar warmth against him after such a stressful day. Hinata’s breath came out in a rush, his shoulders slumped and he held Kageyama tighter, but Kageyama only stood still.

“Tobio? What happened? You were gone for nearly an entire day and now it’s all over the news that these people had disappeared…” Hinata pulled back and was startled when Kageyama fixed him with a steely look, his shoulders tense and looking as if he wanted to back away.

“No, not this again…” Kageyama muttered. He shoved Hinata away and continued towards his apartment.

It was light and had no real power behind it, but it sent a very clear message: don’t touch me.

“Tobio.” Hinata’s brows furrowed and he reached out.

“Stop calling me by my first name!” Kageyama whipped around, in the middle of digging through his pockets for his keys. The tone of his voice made Hinata jump. “Ever since I woke up in the middle of fucking nowhere people have been acting differently. Now this? Seriously is this some sort of prank? Because it’s really not funny.”

Eventually Kageyama found his keys, though Hinata frowned when he saw that the charm on the keychain was different, the one he’d given him when they first started dating was nowhere in sight. It was disturbing, but the only thing Hinata’s brain could manage was the singular thought this was not Tobio, this was not Tobio, this was not.

Hinata reached out again and grabbed the back of Kageyama’s coat before he could shut the door in his face.

“What the hell are you talking about? If anyone’s pulling a prank it’s you! I called Sugawara-san because I was worried you might have been dead in a ditch somewhere and you don’t so much as leave a note.” His voice was nearly a hiss, confusion morphing into a hot, unexplained anger.

Kageyama turned back and barked a laugh that was nasty and five shades of mean, something that Hinata had never, ever witnessed, much less been on the receiving end of. It wasn’t even a tone he thought Kageyama capable of producing.

“Contacted you?” Kageyama said, his voice nearly hysterical. He looked beyond pissed and taken aback. “Hinata, we’re not even close and I don’t understand why you’re here.”

“Why are you saying that, you complete asshole,” Hinata said, but by that point there was nothing left in his voice but quiet shock. “Can you please just tell me what happened yesterday?”

Kageyama pulled out of Hinata’s grasp again, but this time the redhead followed. The door slammed shut and inside the apartment the atmosphere seemed to ferment into something even more surreal.

“No, I cannot. I don’t remember,” Kageyama pulled off his coat, eyes still burning with a glare. “Now unless you need to talk to me about work, I’d appreciate it if you left now.”

Their argument came to a sudden halt, and Kageyama seemed so sure of himself, of what he was saying, that for a moment Hinata wondered if maybe he was in the wrong. He swallowed once, voice low and a bit shaky when he spoke.

"Where do you work?"

"Really, Hinata?" Kageyama looked vaguely disgusted and more than annoyed. "I'm starting to think you're just drunk or on drugs. Get out."

"Tob--" Hinata started, but backtracked at the last minute. "K-Kageyama, please. Just answer the question."

Some of the desperation must have shown through his face because although Kageyama's expression didn't soften, he didn't kick him out either.

"I work at Karasuno Publishing. I'm an editor. You're the shit author who's in the process of getting his first novel published."

Half of his sentence added up, half of it didn't. Hinata pressed on.

"What's your name?"

"Kageyama Tobio."

"How old--"

Kageyama seemed to be at his wits end as he pushed past Hinata and opened the door. "Kageyama Tobio. I'm twenty-four. I was assigned to be your editor but I had to let you go because you write garbage. Is that what this is about? Harassment for signing you off to someone else? Seriously, leave."

Hinata's mind was reeling so bad that the only thing he could get to come out of his mouth was, "But you are my editor!"

Kageyama shook his head, incredulous that Hinata was still talking.

"Not in a million years," and with that, he shut the door, leaving the redhead outside in the cold with parted lips and clenched fists.

The world must have turned upside down, because Hinata couldn't understand how any of this could make sense any other way.


	2. caught with love in his hands

The bad part of untimely tragedies and disasters was the way that the world did not stop. If anything, it seemed to go faster, as if trying to get through a predicament as quickly as possible.

Hinata had not turned on the television since meeting with Kageyama, and had barely spoken with Sugawara since he had gotten back to his apartment. His mood had been at a complete standstill then, and it wasn’t until he had fully reviewed the events of the day that he had been able to sit down and fully emerge himself in the dread he’d kept at bay out of pure shock.

It had been a day now. Hinata’s phone beeped and he rolled over from his spot on the carpet to check it.

**[ From: Suga**

**Subject: hello? ]**

_hey you stopped messaging last night! everything ok ?_

Hinata’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, fingers fidgeting for about a minute before he huffed in frustration and sat up. Without thinking, he pressed the call button and leaned back against the couch while he waited. There were only two rings before Hinata heard Sugawara’s voice on the line.

“Good morning,” Hinata said.

Despite the situation, Sugawara found it in himself to sound amused. “It’s actually afternoon. Did you sleep well?”

Hinata let out an exaggerated sigh. “No. I’ve been staring at my ceiling. Mostly.”

“Oh.” Sugawara paused, as if considering. “I’ve been meaning to ask…”

“I did meet up with Kageyama,” Hinata said, beating him to the punch. Sugawara laughed breathily, embarrassed that his true intentions had been discovered so quickly. “He was--at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if I imagined the whole thing.”

Sugawara made a noise of agreement. “He came in yesterday and it was like he was a different person. Daichi and Noya seemed the same, but...” He stopped. Hinata waited for him to continue but he never did.

“I’m not dreaming then.”

“No, and it’s nice to confirm that I’m not either. Have you heard what they’ve been saying?”

The natural pool of Hinata’s curiosity rippled. He shifted on the couch. “What do you mean?”

All at once, Sugawara seemed to grow uncomfortable again and he backtracked immediately. His voice leveled to something more casual. “Nevermind. It’d be best to talk in person, so you should come in today if you’re up to it. Karasuno is a bit quiet without you.”

Hinata brightened a little. “Really?”

“Yes.”

Hinata was already grabbing clean clothes and dumped them on his bed before going to turn on the shower. Hot water took at least a minute to come out of the cold faucet, but it seemed like much longer as Hinata leaned against the sink counter, waiting for steam to rise up from the floor of his shower. Wisps of his bad mood still clung to him, but Sugawara’s gentle encouragement was more than enough to get him rolling again. And more than anything, he didn't want to spend another day inside. There was too much to do, too many questions he needed answered.

"I'll be there soon!" Hinata said, and said his temporary goodbyes as he got ready to start his day.

* * *

There was something unsettling about expecting a grand, apocalyptic scene and being greeted with clockwork.

Hinata's hands tightened and released on the leather strap of the bag thrown over his shoulder in cycles. He expected a fire the entire way to Karasuno, or at the very least, aliens. But the cityscape was running as it always had. In some ways Hinata decided that was worse than an actual storm.

When he reached Karasuno, Hinata's palms were sweating a little in anticipation for an oncoming disaster, but it never came. Sugawara shot him a smile when he came through the door, and it might have settled his mood entirely had two things not happened in immediate succession.

The first, Tsukishima emerged from the hallway with Kageyama scowling at his side. Second, he made the stupid decision to say 'good morning' out of habit before he remembered the events of yesterday in frighteningly clear quality. Hinata's breath froze in his lungs and his wave stopped halfway when they both turned to look at him.

Shit.

Sugawara looked visibly distressed. "Sign in, Hinata. Please?"

Kageyama's eyes regarded him with the same kind of detached cool that had been present the previous day, and it made Hinata's heart ache. Absolutely nothing had been explained, and yet somehow he thought that it would be a good idea to come into work without so much as asking Sugawara about anything that had happened.

"Morning," Tsukishima said. His smile was less than friendly, exactly the same as always, and yet Hinata couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Something was off.

Even so, the words broke the intense atmosphere and Hinata looked away to hastily scribble his name on the clipboard Sugawara had given him. When he turned back, Kageyama had not moved from his spot, but Tsukishima had, and seemed to be dissecting him under a stare.

"What?" Hinata unwrapped the scarf from his neck.

"It's amazing," Tsukishima said. "You're completely different and yet you look exactly like Hinata. Hey, King, which one do you like better?"

Kageyama bristled at that. "Even in this sort of situation you can't stop being a sorry excuse for a person."

"Which one?" Hinata said, ignoring Sugawara’s eyes trying to distract him from the scene. "I'm the only Hinata here."

"Oh, does he not know?" Tsukishima glanced over to Sugawara innocently.

"Tsukishima, stop." Sugawara almost looked angry.

"He's going to find out anyway. Just like I did." he replied, acidity in his voice. Sugawara dropped his gaze after that and the blonde focused on Hinata again. "Might as well save him the trouble."

"Know what? Stop talking all cryptically!" Hinata yelled. His annoyance was near boiling point, but he could still feel fear somewhere deep down in his stomach. His dread came in waves, getting closer to the shore with each passing moment.

"You've noticed it haven't you? Some people are calling it an act of God, but all anyone really knows is that things are different." Tsukishima smiled in a nasty way, seeming to take pleasure in the way Hinata glared at him. "We're not supposed to be here. We look like people you might have known, and you look like people we know. But it's all wrong." 

"What, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers?"

"No, but this whole thing isn't much better." It was the first time Kageyama had spoken throughout the little confrontation. It made Hinata lose all his steam in less than a second.

"The King talks at last." Tsukishima said, smirking as he leaned against the reception counter.

Kageyama's face twisted in disgust, but he refused to look at Tsukishima again and instead focused on Hinata.

"People have been saying it's some sort of switch that happened after all the disappearances,” Kageyama offered, much more civil. “It's a completely different world for those of us who came back."

"More like replaced," Tsukishima sighed. It was irritating how casual he sounded. "Well at least some things are still the same. I have a job at Karasuno and my house key still works."

"That's..." Hinata couldn't find his voice. He looked to Sugawara for some sort of cue, some sort of hint that this was a joke, but there was only tiredness. Hinata's tone lowered into something angry. "That's impossible. Am I really supposed to believe something like that?"

"Impossible like millions of people disappearing all at once?" Tsukishima asked, arms crossed. "Go do some research. You'll see I'm not lying."

Exasperated and unable to process everything he had heard, Hinata shoved through Tsukishima and headed down the hallway to his office.

"It's really bad luck that your personality is the same then," Hinata said as he passed the other author. He excused himself to Sugawara and cast a glance over at Kageyama, whose expression was unreadable, before leaving. Quiet laughter followed him down the hall, and it only served to heighten the bad mood he'd acquired.

Once inside his office, Hinata didn't hesitate to slam the door.

* * *

Hinata stared at his computer screen. Tonight was the deadline to turn in the four chapters he’d written, but he dreaded seeing Kageyama again. Yamaguchi was the only other editor who was in the building on Fridays, and since Tsukishima was here, it was certain that he’d have work to do.

He bit the inside of his mouth. Talking to Kageyama was not something he wanted to do, but they worked together and...as long as this predicament was still an active part of his life, he’d have to learn to live with it as well.

Hinata sighed and slumped in his chair. The quiet jazz streaming from his computer curled around the room and served to relax him a little as he dialed the front desk. Sugawara answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Suga-san. I have the next installment done and I need an editor to confirm me. Could you send one over?”

“Of course,” Sugawara said. “Ah, but only Kageyama is here now. Is that--”

“It’s fine!” Hinata said a bit too quickly.

“Hinata...if you really need it, I can extend your deadline,” Sugawara said. His voice was low and worried. “Then you can wait for Yamaguchi.”

 “No, no…” Hinata sighed. “Thank you, but I’m okay. I just want to get this done.”

There was a control and pride that Hinata felt as he dealt with this, but that was quickly forgotten when Kageyama knocked a few minutes later and stepped into the office cautiously. His hand hovered on the doorknob for a second before he shut the door. He remained there, shuffling minutely until Hinata offered him a chair.

“Good evening, To--Kageyama.” Hinata wanted to die. Things couldn’t get any more awkward.

Kageyama nodded. “You had an installment you wanted to turn in?”

“Ah, yeah. Chapters four to eight.”

There was a long silence. Not even the desk between them lessened the tension, and Hinata discovered that he had to avert his eyes just to keep from crying out of frustration. Why had this happened? How could this have happened?

“If it’s not too much trouble,” Kageyama’s hesitant voice snapped him out of his misery. “I’d like to talk about a personal matter.”

Hinata met his gaze again, slowly, suspiciously. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry for the way I snapped at you yesterday,” Kageyama said. He looked so formal, back straight and hands in his lap, but his face was slightly twisted. “I wasn’t aware of the disappearances. When Sugawara-san talked to me today, I understood that you were just as confused as I was.”

“What did Suga-san tell you?”

Hinata’s voice sounded far away to himself. He watched Kageyama’s face carefully and was not amused when his face flushed a dull red. It’s wasn’t hard to piece together what he now knew. Hinata bristled. As much as he held Sugawara in high esteem, he couldn’t believe he had told Kageyama, this Kageyama that they didn’t know, about his personal life.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kageyama asked, looking at the floor now.

“What is?” Hinata pressed on. He was pissed now, and unfairly taking it out on Kageyama. But the fact that Kageyama couldn’t even tell him clearly what he meant was almost as bad as Sugawara revealing this without his permission in the moment.

“Why are you making this harder than it has to be?” Kageyama’s voice raised a little, his brows furrowed. “I wanted to apologize and come to an understanding, especially since we’ll be working together.”

“Maybe,” Hinata got up and circled around the desk. By this point he was conscious that his anger was misdirected, but there was no one to blame and Kageyama was an easy target. “Maybe it’s because this _is_ hard for me. Since you’re now an expert on my life you should get why.

When Hinata’s anger dimmed, he instantly felt guilty. Kageyama looked genuinely uncomfortable and tense. He didn’t deserve this, even if he wasn’t the person Hinata once knew.

“I-I’m sorry.” Hinata said, backing off. “It’s been a long day. Could just look through this and read it later? You can email me the suggestions.”

Kageyama took the manuscript slowly, but finally met Hinata’s eyes again. He shifted in his seat before speaking quietly. “What was he like?”

It shocked him that Kageyama was still willing to speak to him after such a rude outburst.

“Sugawara-san should have told you everything you need to know.”

“He didn’t,” Kageyama said. “And if you don’t mind, I’d like to hear it from you. In a way, it concerns me, don’t you think?”

Hinata leaned on his desk, unblinking as he tried to process the other’s words. There was no trace of humor in the lines of Kageyama’s face, and part of Hinata wanted him to know, for his own satisfaction.

“I met Tobio when I finally got my first book deal,” Hinata started. His arms were crossed as he stared at the wall behind Kageyama. “He was set as my editor and we hit it off. There’s not much to tell. We were dating for about a month.”

“He seemed important to you. I’m sorry,” Kageyama said.

“Well it’s not really your fault, is it?” Hinata laughed, looking towards him again. “I just don’t want this to be weird. I get that you’re someone entirely different, even if you look like him. Don’t worry about it.”

“You said that Tsukishima had the same personality. How am I different?” Kageyama’s frown was still firmly in place. It was an odd expression for Hinata to see on him.

“Everything,” he said, and tried not to laugh when Kageyama looked annoyed. “Seriously. For one, Tobio wasn’t an asshole. He was always trying to help people out, even if it was Tsukishima. And he definitely never made such a scary face.”

Kageyama gaped, flushing a bit in embarrassment when Hinata mimicked his expression badly. It was an obvious tease.

“How terrifying,” Kageyama countered. “I can’t believe someone wearing my face would help a snake like Tsukishima.”

“You’ll come to accept it,” Hinata said, and smiled when that pulled a slight snort from Kageyama, who instantly seemed surprised at his own reaction.

The atmosphere in the room was deescalating with every second, and Hinata was grateful. The uncertainty of the situation was bad, but knowing that he could at the very least be civil with this Kageyama was comforting. Though, his heart still ached when he saw Kageyama’s familiar face and saw no trace of his former lover, his former friend.

“What was I like?” Hinata asked instead, trying to distract himself.

“The worst,” Kageyama said. There was no hesitation. “At first I thought the Hinata I used to know and you were the same, but there are some differences.”

“Like?”

Kageyama smirked. “Your writing sucks a little less. You’re definitely not as annoying, though that seems to be a defining trait for both of you. Also, you still can’t spell ‘pilot’.”

“Like that’s an important word anyway,” Hinata rolled his eyes.

The conversation seemed to end there, and there were a few seconds of silence before Kageyama cleared his throat.

“So I guess I should get started on this,” Kageyama said, getting up from the chair as he waved the manuscript around awkwardly. “I’ll email you tonight. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Thank you, Tob--” Hinata caught himself again and swore under his breath.

The slip heightened the tension in the room again in spite of the lengths he’d gone to dispel it. Kageyama was polite enough to pretend he hadn’t heard it, even though the pinched line of his mouth told otherwise.

“Have a good night,” he said.

“Goodnight, Kageyama,” Hinata replied, relieved that he’d gotten it right this time.


	3. a fork in the road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who left comments and kudos, etc.! ; u ;

The day Kageyama disappeared, Sugawara slept at the firm in hopes that Daichi would return there after failing to show up at their apartment. The couch in the breakroom was stiff, but it hadn’t been the first time he’d done it. Early in the morning, Sugawara got what he was waiting for when he heard the front doors being unlocked, knowing that the only people who had keys to the entrances were himself and Daichi.

Without bothering to straighten his clothes, Sugawara rushed into the lobby and saw him struggling with the lock. Tsukishima and Noya were also in tow, with their clothes and hair in varying degrees of disarray.

Sugawara breathed a sigh of relief. Daichi never dropped off the grid without so much as a call, so while he tried not to assume the worst, he realized he’d been more worried than he initially thought. He pulled his rumpled coat around himself and checked his watch. It was almost three-thirty.

“I thought something happened,” Sugawara said, walking over to hug Daichi tightly, then smiled at Tsukishima and Noya.

Noya was preoccupied with his cellphone, muttering something about the terrible service, but Tsukishima was staring at him with a look he couldn’t quite place. Sugawara ignored it and turned back to Daichi.

“It’s going to sound odd,” he said. “But I woke up in the alley near that convenience store by our apartment. You weren’t home, so I came here and found these two on the way.”

“How I managed to survive in that fucking cold is beyond me,” Noya said, rubbing his hands up and down his arms for dramatic effect. “Must’ve passed out drunk when going home last night.”

“That explains _your_ situation,” Tsukishima said, eyes still firmly set on Sugawara. “But not ours. Daichi doesn’t drink and I know for a fact I made it back to my apartment last night.”

“Maybe we were mugged?” Daichi suggested, bursting into a laugh.

It echoed in the empty lobby and instantly made Sugawara feel better, though he didn’t miss how Tsukishima’s frown deepened considerably at his smile.

“They could have knocked me out from behind,” Daichi continued. “Though, I’m not bruised and still have my wallet.”

“Maybe you all should sit down before trying to make accusations,” Sugawara said warmly. “I’ll put some coffee on, then we can figure this out.”

“I’ll help,” Tsukishima said immediately, and it surprised all three of them, though Sugawara recovered the quickest.

“Thank you, Tsukishima-kun,” he said, smiling. Noya just scoffed.

“Don’t let him fool you, he probably wants extra vacation days!”

Daichi shoved Noya playfully they fell back into easy conversation. Sugawara started for the break room again, confused, but pleased that Tsukishima seemed so eager to help. He was usually distant with everyone other than Yamaguchi, and the few tries he attempted at friendship made Sugawara feel like he was talking to a brick wall.

The break room door shut softly behind them and Sugawara turned on the coffeemaker, sighed, and leaned back against the wall as he rubbed his eyes. He was aware that his hair was likely a mess, but he couldn’t understand why Tsukishima was staring at him as if he had grown another head. He’d had the same look since he walked into the lobby.

“I slept here last night,” Sugawara tried to explain, tone polite and pleasant. “Don’t worry Tsukishima-kun, you won’t have to deal with it for long. I intend to go home and change soon.”

For an instant, Sugawara thought he saw a flash of pain cross Tsukishima’s features, but he convinced himself it was imagined when he blinked and it was gone. Now Tsukishima simply glared at him, which was a much more familiar look.

“So what?” Tsukishima said quietly. He approached the coffeemaker and set a cup underneath it. “You ignore me entirely when we come in and and now you’re calling me ‘Tsukishima-kun’ in private? Should I revert back to ‘Sugawara-san’ as well?”

Sugawara’s silence stretched indefinitely, and he could not find his voice when Tsukishima met his eyes. They were carefully devoid of any emotion.

Sugawara swallowed harshly. It was as if he’d stepped on a landmine, but had no idea why or how he’d set something off.

“I’m sorry, Tsukishima-kun,” he said. “Have I done something to offend you?”

Tsukishima did not speak after that, just switched out the cups when one filled and set them on the table. Sugawara followed suit.

“How many sugars do you take?” Sugawara asked him, though it was apparently a poor question on his part because Tsukishima scoffed without sparing him a glance and left the room without a word.

Guilt inexplicably surged into his throat, but Sugawara didn’t know what he’d done. Alone in the break room, he grabbed a tray after a few seconds of disorientation and walked back into the lobby. If he really tried to ignore what just happened, the scene he entered would have seemed normal.

Daichi sat back with his legs kicked out in front of him while Noya complained over how much space he was taking up in mock anger. Tsukishima sat quiet and reserved as always, though he had taken off his coat. Sugawara set down the tray and sat on the smaller couch across from Tsukishima.

“Thank you, Suga,” Daichi sighed happily and pulled off his gloves.

“Yes, thank you, Sugawara-san,” Tsukishima said, his sneer so subtle that he only noticed it because he was on edge.

Luckily, Noya jumped into the conversation and saved him from having to respond.

“I don’t get it. If I drank too much, wouldn’t I have a hangover?” Noya said, taking careful sips of his coffee. “I feel fine, just cold as shit.”

“You didn’t answer any of my texts,” Sugawara said, agreeing. “You always jump at the chance to drunk text.”

“There were a lot of people out when I woke up,” Daichi said, interrupting. “It was weird. I thought there was some sort of late-night festival at first, but when I asked, no one had an answer.”

Sugawara considered this a moment. “Don’t you think that’s strange?”

“What?” Daichi asked over the rim of his cup. “The people?”

“No, the circumstance,” Tsukishima interjected. “We all blacked out at around the same time. What are the chances of that? The people in the street probably couldn’t answer because they had gone through the same thing.”

An uneasy silence settled in the lobby. Noya set his cup down and was the first to speak again.

“What about everyone else? Has Asahi called?”

Sugawara froze, wondering if he’d heard incorrectly. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Asashi,” Noya repeated, and Daichi nodded. “He usually comes in early. Did he call in sick? Have you heard from him at all?”

Sugawara’s head began to spin again, as if Tsukishima hadn’t already done a fantastic job of that. His silence prompted a hand on his knee, with Daichi sporting a worried brow.

“Hey, you doing okay?”

Sugawara nodded, and noticed that Tsukishima’s expression had also morphed into one of mild worry. The day was progressing into something truly surreal.

“Did we,” Sugawara said. “Um, hire someone new? I’ve been here the whole week but maybe I forgot to check applications.”

“Suga, what do you mean? That’s not even what we’re talking about,” Noya said. “I’m asking if Asahi called the front desk.”

“I don’t know who that is,” Sugawara whispered. He was growing increasingly self-conscious under the stares the three were giving him.

“Suga, are you joking?” Noya asked. “He’s been with us for years.”

“No, no, this is too weird,” he muttered. “First you disappear and then, these things…”

Sugawara felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he nearly jumped out of his skin. Sighing, he unlocked it and realized it was a notification from the news app he had installed on his phone.

He was about to put it away when the headline caught his eye.

Daichi leaned over to him reluctantly after a beat, approaching him as he was still engrossed in the article.

“What’s going on?”

Sugawara looked up, face more pale than usual. “Look at this,” he said, holding up his screen.

* * *

Sugawara tapped his foot incessantly against the tile, finding it hard to even look in the direction of Daichi, Noya and Tsukishima. Articles from so many reputable news sources could not have been a total hoax, and the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

There were subtle differences with the people who arrived at Karasuno that morning, though he was still having trouble digesting the idea that these people who wore the same faces as his coworkers and friends were from a parallel universe.  

When he said it like that, it was a ridiculous notion. Sugawara would not have even entertained the idea if he hadn’t seen pictures of confused masses and listened to first-hand accounts of the people with him now. The Daichi, Noya and Tsukishima that were with him had lives that were incredibly similar to the lives of the people he knew, but they varied enough for Sugawara to know they were not the same people.

This Daichi had majored in journalism, but never minored in political science. This Noya was born a day before he was supposed to have been born, and this Tsukishima admitted that he had been childhood friends with Yamaguchi since second grade, whereas the Tsukishima Sugawara remembered had not even met Yamaguchi until middle school.

The T.V. had been left on after this disturbing realization in order to fill the contemplative silence, and Sugawara stared blankly at the same repeating broadcast until something caught his eye.

Kageyama appeared on screen. His thoughts instantly directed to Hinata.

“Do you know who Kageyama is?” Sugawara asked. “He works with us.”

“Unfortunately, we do,” Tsukishima said. “We didn’t see him.”

“I have to call Hinata.”

“Too bad he still exists. I was hoping he didn’t,” Tsukishima said dismissively.

Noya looked up from the couch with a snarl. “This isn’t funny. It’s fucked, so stop making distasteful jokes please.”

Tsukishima shrugged but said nothing more. Sugawara pulled out his phone and walked to the restrooms down the hall.

The phone rang for some time and then he heard Hinata’s voice. He knew he wouldn’t be able to explain what he could barely understand, so he directed the him to the t.v. Practically every channel was running the story on repeat.

He hung up after a few minutes and then leaned against the countertop, closing his eyes. A voice from behind startled him, and Sugawara frowned when he realized it was Tsukishima.

“It’d be nice if you knocked,” Sugawara said.

“It’s a public bathroom,” Tsukishima retorted.

There was a tense silence again, and now Sugawara understood that it was the fault of things left unsaid. There was something Tsukishima was hiding, something that involved him, and while he was scared about what he’d discover, he wanted to know.

“Back there…” Sugawara started, carefully. “You didn’t tell everything about yourself, did you? I have a feeling that we were on different terms where you came from.”

“You’re sharp,” Tsukishima said.

“It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

There was a wave of vulnerability that overtook Tsukishima’s face, which quickly escalated to a visible distress. Sugawara realized that this was the first time he’d seen the other like this and it nearly had him recoiling further into the bathroom. Was it that bad? Did he do something awful?   

“Do you really want to know?” Tsukishima asked. “I don’t know how much I share with the Tsukishima you're familiar with. Maybe it would be better to forget all this.”

“It’s too late for that,” Sugawara said. And it was. The doubt would eat at him. He needed to know. “Tell me.”

Tsukishima remained by the bathroom door a few seconds, ominous and hesitant before he finally walked over to the countertop by Sugawara. He placed his hands on cold marble on either side of Sugawara’s frame and leaned down a notch to place his mouth near his ear. His breath was warm.

Sugawara’s heart raced and his eyes widened. All at once, a simple understanding slid into place.

“You and I developed a close relationship,” Tsukishima murmured.

He leaned back and waited, face close to Sugawara. When he said nothing, Tsukishima leaned forward as if meaning to press a kiss to his mouth, but Sugawara stopped him by placing his palms on his chest.

“I’m with Daichi,” Sugawara said. “I woudn’t--”

“I know,” Tsukishima said, backing off now. His cool air had returned, though he still looked more vulnerable than Sugawara had ever seen him. “But people get bored, Sugawara-san, even you.”

Sugawara was left numb this time. When he finally composed himself enough to head back to the lobby, Noya had gone home, Tsukishima was working and Kageyama had unexpectedly shown up. He took the vacant seat next to Daichi, who turned to smile at him when he returned.

Sugawara had never wanted so badly to hide.


	4. seeing double

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some explicitness but it's nothing major! Hopefully it doesn't seem too rushed omg

Hinata told himself that, given enough time, he would be able to separate the memory of his Tobio from Kageyama’s face. But it was hard, especially when Hinata started noticing similarities. 

Focusing on how they were different kept him sane for the first month, but it became near impossible to ignore how both Kageyamas were the same after spending time near him for as long as he had.

Kageyama was as passionate about his work as Hinata remembered him to be. The small crease between his brows was the same one that formed when his Tobio marked up a manuscript. Instead of drinking coffee like the rest of them, he would heat up milk in the microwave.

The list went on. 

The small things started getting under his skin and Hinata would sometimes, albeit guiltily, allow himself the fantasy that it was the Tobio he knew who sat next to him while working. Kageyama would utimately speak and break the illusion, and Hinata would be brought back to reality shockingly fast, as if freezing water had been dumped on him.

It took a toll on him, and he came to scrutinize each and every one of Kageyama’s actions obsessively.

When Kageyama finally warmed up to him, his underlying kindness became more apparent, and Hinata began to make every effort to keep him at bay.

He could more easily ignore the similarities in Kageyama when they were butting heads and hurling insults. This Kageyama’s personality was volatile, and clashed so much with his own that Hinata had no problem distinguishing reality from fantasy. But when Kageyama genuinely praised him, it was soft in a way that made his heart ache. Kageyama’s face became so reminiscent of Tobio’s that it took everything in Hinata not to reach out and embrace him.

He had stopped himself on several occasions, left gestures unfinished, affections unspoken, because he would suddenly remember that Kageyama was not his Tobio and never would be.

As a result, Hinata tried desperately to piss him off at every opportunity.

“You're leading into the ending well,” Kageyama said, voice loud in the silence of Hinata’s office.

They were both sitting cross-legged on the floor, working over the last few chapters Hinata had written. For weeks his days had followed a combination of sleeping, writing and talking with Kageyama over revisions.

Many times it also included a midnight dinner from the convenience store after they finished, though that was usually brief and consisted of more work talk.

“No jabs at my style this time?” Hinata yawned. He was tired and burnt out from relying on sheer willpower to stay awake.

“Fundamentally, there’s always something wrong with your writing, but I think I’ve repeated the basic problems enough for you to have memorized them,” Kageyama said. “I don’t really feel like repeating myself.”

“I write cool stories, okay?” Hinata growled. “Have you considered that maybe sci-fi isn’t your thing?”

Kageyama looked over at him through his glasses, manuscript still in hand. “Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate it.”

“Why do you judge my writing so much?” Hinata asked.

He sighed dramatically and fell back onto the carpeted floor, reached up and popped open the first two buttons on his shirt, unaware of the way Kageyama’s eyes were immediately drawn to the action.

“All you do is edit, which, I’ll have you know is a million times easier than writing.”

“If you didn’t have me, your book would be indiscernible from trash,” Kageyama said, scowling. “It’s my job to complain about your writing. You get better that way.”

“Oooh,” Hinata said sarcastically, wiggling his arms above himself. “And have I gotten better these past few months, Kageyama-sama?”

“Yes,” Kageyama said, not missing a beat. There was no trace of teasing, and Hinata’s eyes went wide when he snapped his head to the side in order to look at him.

“I was wrong about you,” Kageyama continued. “Your work shows a lot of potential. I shouldn’t have assumed that you’d be the same person I knew.”

Hinata couldn’t look away from the earnest look that Kageyama was giving him, like he was proud, like they were friends. His chest suddenly felt too tight, too full. The low voice and praise was too familiar, too close for comfort.

Hinata sat up quickly and grabbed his bag off the floor.

“I have to go,” he mumbled. “Forgot I have something to do. Email me the rest of the suggestions later.”

“Are you serious?” Kageyama said, annoyed. “I blocked out this time specifically because you said it was the only time you were free.”

This clear distinction was much easier, Hinata thought, no matter how much he disliked arguing with his editor.

“Well, things come up!” Hinata said. His tone was too cheerful to be anything but fake. “The whole world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“But apparently it stops for you,” Kageyama said. He got up as well and scoffed, took off his glasses and started packing up his things too. “I take back what I said about you.”

Hinata’s chest was still tight. He didn’t understand why he was still on the verge of crying when Kageyama no longer even resembled Tobio.

“No takebacks, Kageyama,” Hinata said, unable to stop covering up his uneasiness with humor he didn’t truly feel.

“Do you always have to be this immature?” Kageyama spat. “I’m trying to work with you despite the obvious lack of tact and skill you have, and you’re willing to throw it away on impulse. What could possibly be so important?”

“We’re not close, Kageyama. Remember? What I do doesn’t concern you.” Hinata said, throwing back some of his first words back at him. It shocked Kageyama into a quiet anger, and he simply shook his head and looked away.

Once Hinata had his things together, he lingered hesitantly by the door. Since the confrontation started, he had regretted every word, but it was always the hardest to not apologize. Apologizing would mean he’d have to explain himself, and Hinata already felt pathetic enough.

“Please lock the door when you leave,” Hinata said softly.

Kageyama didn’t even look at him. “Check your email later tonight. I’ll get this back to you in a few hours.”

Hinata rushed out of the building, not even bothering to check in with Sugawara. It was impossible to cry. His entire body felt numb and his breath was coming in slow pants that clouded around him in the cold nighttime air. His tongue was out of place in his mouth, heavy with words that hadn’t translated properly from thought to action.

The past weeks had been trying, but he managed to form a tentative relationship with Kageyama. Hinata respected him, enjoyed his company, and so it felt like shit every time he compelled himself to make a scene for his own benefit. He knew it wasn’t fair to Kageyama, who he knew was genuinely trying to have a workable relationship with him, but Hinata couldn’t help it.

Tobio had not once left his mind. He missed him, and fell into a terrifying pit of self-pity whenever he considered the possibility that he might never see him again.

Even worse, Hinata thought as he entered his apartment, was the uncomfortable, misplaced affection that was growing like a weed. It felt wrong, knowing that he was likely latching on to Kageyama because he shared a face with someone he felt strongly for.

It was times like these that he truly resented others like Sugawara, whose loved one had also been replaced but maintained the same personality and status.

At least they were still dating, Hinata thought, at least they were still _friends_. He had lost every aspect of the person he cared about except for his appearance, and even though he knew Kageyama was a completely different person, he couldn’t help but be attracted to the familiarity of his face and the memories that came with it.

He slumped against the door, keys jangling in one hand before he dropped them on the floor carelessly.

He was a mess and he knew it. Taking in deep breaths through his nose, Hinata tried to stifle the first sign of a sob but it crawled up his throat sooner than he anticipated and echoed in the dark apartment.

The palms of his hands pressed hard into his eyes and he laughed between the sharp cries that had his entire form shaking. Ridiculous, Hinata thought, absolutely ridiculous that he was letting this get to him. He managed just fine with any other personal problem, and yet this was what had him more frustrated than he had been in years.

Hinata slid down to the floor, knees pulled up in front of him as he slowly came out of his mild breakdown. It was gradual, but after a few minutes he finally dropped his hands and sighed.

The apartment was completely dark and empty, but memories of Tobio no longer felt sharp since the brief crying spell left him hazy. They were comforting and didn’t make him flinch, if anything, they had him relaxing back into the door.

Hinata’s sigh softened even more as he lightly dragged his hand down his knee, laying it to rest on his lower thigh. He sorted through dozens of memories: Tobio’s smile next to him as they lay together in bed, Tobio’s sleepy eyes in the morning, Tobio’s sly glances over the table when Karasuno was having a meeting, Tobio’s lips parted in a gasp.

Hinata moaned quietly, face flushing in embarrassment at what he was doing.

He was already palming himself through his jeans, half-hard and biting his lip in an attempt to keep quiet. The guilt was already ebbing its way through the pleasure, but Hinata continued, too far gone in his thoughts to think of another solution for his pent-up frustration.

His head hit the door behind him as he leaned back and spread his legs slightly. Flashes of memory rushed by with purpose now, and somehow the memories Hinata had of Tobio became intertwined with more recent memories of Kageyama. It started off with how closely he resembled him and then quickly morphed into something else altogether.

Hinata’s back arched as he struggled to get his fly open.

Kageyama’s sharp wit was in his ear now, teasing, low, and bordering on cruel. As Hinata finally freed his cock, his mind sprung the clear image of Kageyama towering over him, pressing him against the desk with his body as he kissed the underside of his jaw.

He whimpered, painfully hard as he indulged in the fantasy. What if he had touched Kageyama instead of royally pissing him off? What if he allowed himself to stoop that low, to become that weak?

Hinata worked himself more desperately now, recalling Kageyama’s hard glare and pleased smirk that were miles and miles away from Tobio’s soft expressions.

“Fuck,” Hinata groaned when he finally came in his hand.

He sat there panting in the dark for quite some time. It wasn’t until shame caught up with him that he got up and redid his jeans.

After showering, he scrolled through his email and sure enough, Kageyama had followed through with the draft. Hinata didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

* * *

 Kageyama deliberately ignored him after the argument, and he knew this because even when they were in the building together, Kageyama would send over his revisions via email. He only went into Hinata’s office to pick up new parts of the manuscript when he was conveniently absent. In the hallways they would both pretend that the floor or ceiling were infinitely more interesting than each other, and the few times they had bumped into each other in the break room, Kageyama would usually act as if he was receiving a call at that exact moment so that he could leave quickly.

Kageyama's emails were also the bare minimum. During the time that Hinata developed a tentative rapport with him, he came to understand some subtleties of Kageyama's language. His messages were much less obvious than a text full of emojis, but Hinata came to recognize the increasingly friendly and sometimes joking tone that lay underneath his words.

Now, the emails were solely technical jargon, one-word answers or blank.

Hinata scrolled through his inbox, hand in cheek and a frown deep set on his face as he read through some of the more recent ones. 

 **Subject: Draft 15-20**  
**Message: Rewrite scene with drowning--out of place.**  
**Attachment: d15-20.pdf**

 **Subject: re:Idea for addition between 6-7**  
**Message: No.**

 **Subject: Draft 10-14**  
**Attachment: d10-14.pdf**

Hinata tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter and that it was actually better to keep as much distance between them as possible, but it was a difficult lie to swallow. Kageyama had not replaced the hole that Tobio’s disappearance created, but he had made an unlikely companion amidst the chaos.

He missed being with someone on a regular basis, even if Kageyama was grumpy a lot. It was better than having no one at all, since Sugawara always seemed too deep in his own thoughts to have a mutual conversation with lately, Tsukishima still struck him as unapproachable, and he could not move past small talk with any other of his coworkers.

Today was the deadline for the final part of his novel. Hinata had printed it out and it was sitting neatly on his desk as he waited in his chair.

He'd played along with Kageyama's avoidance for his own benefit as well, as he had beat himself up relentlessly over the argument and subsequent moment of weakness he had indulged in when he got home. Hinata couldn't meet Kageyama's eyes for a week afterwards, but he wanted to move past that now, as he was unsure when the next time he'd get to work with him formally would be.

The last thing Hinata wanted was to leave someone resenting him. He didn't want that, especially not with Kageyama.

So, he did not leave the office. Sooner or later Kageyama would realize that he would have to go into the office with Hinata still in it.

At seven, just as he'd predicted, there was finally a knock on the door and Hinata shot straight up in his seat. He hurriedly closed the game of internet checkers he'd been playing and straightened his up in his chair.

“Come in,” he said, voice steadier than what he expected.

There was a pause, and then the door opened minutely as Kageyama slipped inside the office without a sound. His hair was slicked off to the side, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and tie loosened. There was a pen resting on his ear. He looked tired, wary even as he looked at Hinata through his glasses.

The shame of everything he’d done up to that point crashed into Hinata full force and all at once. His knuckles went white as he clutched the armrests of his chair.

“Isn’t it a little late for you to be at the office?” Kageyama said, face blank as he walked forward.

Words that Hinata had rehearsed for hours were no where to be found. He handed Kageyama the last part of the manuscript and he took it without sparing him a glance. The interaction lasted less than a few seconds and Kageyama turned to leave as soon as it was in his hands. It was then that Hinata finally regained his voice.

“Kageyama, wait--”

Hinata did not expect Kageyama to turn around viciously the moment he spoke. All neutrality from his face was wiped clean and he returned quickly to slam the manuscript down on the desk.

“Don’t play these games with me,” Kageyama said. His eyes flashed dangerously. “I don’t know what your previous editor let you get away with, but it won’t fly with me. You can’t skimp out on an editing session on a whim and then try to be my friend. I’m not going to humor that when you’re such an asshole, so this is as close as we’re going to work together.”

Hinata was left gaping, but he quickly stood up and rounded the desk to get into Kageyama’s face. There was that misplaced anger again. Hinata could feel it simmering, but he kept it down.

“It wasn’t just nothing,” he said, more defensively than he wanted to admit. “There was a problem. I wanted to apologize.”

“And it only took you,” Kageyama looked at his wristwatch sarcastically. “A month.”

“You haven’t exactly made yourself open for communication,” Hinata protested weakly.

Kageyama went livid again, his anger white-hot and focused.

“After that night, seeing you was the last thing on my mind,” he said. “Or what, are you used to a sweeter, dumber editor coming back to grovel after you throw a tantrum?”

The words hit Hinata deeply enough that he physically recoiled. Kageyama seemed to notice he’d crossed a line as he too flinched, mouth softening a fraction as if he was going to say something more, maybe retract what he'd said.

There was an intense buzzing in his ears and Hinata felt his eyes heat up with anger that spiked from his gut, but he swallowed his pride and willed himself not to argue back. He wanted to apologize, not make another scene.

“Please stop,” Hinata said shakily, and was relieved when Kageyama said nothing.

He breathed deeply, and when he was certain he wouldn’t say anything stupid, he looked up again. “I wanted to apologize for what I did that night. I was too scared to go find you. I thought you were avoiding me, so…”

“I was,” Kageyama stated bluntly. Hinata just nodded.

“I was having a difficult night. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, but it got to the point where I had to leave,” Hinata finished lamely.

He’d intentionally left out pieces of the truth and Kageyama knew it. Hinata saw the way he stared, as if waiting for further explanation, but he wasn't going to elaborate further because honestly what could he say?  _I miss my boyfriend so I accidentally jacked off to you after we yelled at each other. Sorry, don't pity me?_ Hinata nearly hurled as the notion crossed his mind. No way. Kageyama already knew enough about his issues. 

For a moment, Hinata thought he would drop it, but that did not happen.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me,” Kageyama said, sounding unsure now. "If you had an emergency, I wouldn't have kept you. I hope you know that."

“I was afraid you'd throw a party in my office,” Hinata said, smiling a little. 

It was the first time he’d joked with Kageyama in a month, and though he was only doing it to prevent himself from freaking out, it felt nice to fall into a more casual conversation with him. It was something Hinata hadn't realized he missed so much.

“A little excessive, but okay," Kageyama said, not looking the least bit amused.

Hinata rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. Kageyama exhaled hard and took off his glasses, going to squeeze the bridge of his nose tightly.

“What’s wrong?” Kageyama finally asked. “I’m trying to do my job here, but the weird moods you sometimes get in make that hard. Sometimes I feel like you start fights for no reason.”

“I do,” Hinata admitted. He hadn’t intended to tell Kageyama the more of the truth, but after being prodded for so long, bits of it unsurprisingly began to crack through. “I’m sorry. I’ve been making your job hell. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Kageyama’s eyes were wide. He placed his glasses on the desk and cleared his throat. “Is this about…” he trailed off, unable to even say it.

“I’m not dealing with it as well as I thought I could,” Hinata said, honest words spilling so easily from his mouth that he couldn’t stop if he wanted to. It felt like relief. “You remind me a lot of him sometimes and it gets hard to look at you.”

Kageyama shifted awkwardly and they stood in silence for a while. Hinata started panicking when there was no reply, and his own voice took on a hysterical edge as he rushed to fix whatever he'd done. “But it’s not like, that bad or anything. It just gets weird, you know? If you wore a paper bag then maybe--”

“I’m not weirded out!” Kageyama blurted out suddenly, cutting Hinata off mid-sentence. “I just don’t know what to say. It’s not really something I know how to help with.”

“No, of course not,” Hinata sighed. “And I’m dumping this on you. I just wanted to apologize.”

“I know.”

“Like I said, it won’t happen again. I’m getting better at dealing with it and I realized…” Hinata said, frowning. “I kinda miss working with you one-on-one. You might be annoying, but I like working with you.”

Kageyama flinched, as if he wasn’t expecting that, but shook it off.

“Likewise,” he said softly, looking away when Hinata smiled at him again. “Do you want to...start on that then?”

Kageyama nodded to the manuscript still laying on the table.

Within the hour, they were back to their usual routine, and Hinata had  further compartmentalized the discomfort, the argument, the shame of what he’d done back in his apartment as an oddity, something that came about as a result of stress.

Except now, whenever Kageyama’s fingers accidentally brushed against his own, his breathing stuttered a bit, though he did not not look deeper within himself to figure out why.

It would go away, he thought, eventually.


	5. meeting in reverse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been super busy, but I finally managed to update aHHHH. I'll try to update more frequently, but chapters are probably gonna come more irregularly until May. Anyway here's more of Sugawara.

People often mistook Sugawara’s quiet demeanor for cowardliness. Those with a skewed perception of him tried to push him around, though he struck down each and every one of them with a few firm words. He was sure of himself, but didn’t ever feel the need to be as loud as Noya or always take the initiative like Daichi. Sugawara preferred to stay on the sidelines watching, and this made him a good judge of character. Nothing escaped him. If he had really wanted, he would have made an exceptional gossip. 

Sugawara had no interest in sharing the details of other's lives pointlessly, but he also found it difficult to not to take note of everything.

Tsukishima had not spoken to him irregularly since the incident in the bathroom, and Sugawara would have been inclined to believe he dreamed it all up had it not been for the stray glances that Tsukishima frequently tossed him.

Out of the corner of his eye Sugawara would see Tsukishima’s gaze flicker towards him over and over as he signed in. When they were in the break room with others, he saw how the other drank his coffee next to the coffeemaker instead of taking it back to his office like he usually did. Still, Tsukishima made no attempt to contact him, and in some ways that was worse.

Sugawara tried to settle back into his life. The fact that this new Daichi was not much different from the person he’d once knew made it easier, though it unsettled him when they recalled events and the details were different. For their first date Sugawara swore that they ate dinner and then went to watch a movie, but Daichi argued that they only had dinner and talked for the rest of the night.

A natural affection was still there, and he was glad for it, but it was not the same. And Tsukishima was still on his mind.

It was difficult for him to picture himself being unfaithful, much less with someone as closed off as Tsukishima, but it ate at him. He wondered what kind of person he was where Tsukishima came from, how similar he was. 

Sugawara sighed and scrolled boredly through his files for the fifth time that morning, trying to set his thoughts at ease. Daichi arrived early as always and others began to trickle in slowly, but Tsukishima had yet to arrive. As of late, Noya had been increasingly absent as well.

It was hard to imagine waking up in a world where someone you cared about had been completely erased from existence, particularly someone close. He guessed that was one of the reasons Noya seemed to be avoiding Karasuno so often. Another was the general lack of work.

There was a loud gush of wind from outside and Sugawara jumped slightly when the door opened to reveal Noya and Tsukishima. Cold swept into the room, then quickly settled in with the warm air and stilled.

Noya took off his hat and approached the desk, cheeks red and lips chapped. The past two months had been trying, and ever since he found out there was no writer by the name of Azumane, Noya had lost a bit of the brightness in his attitude. Sugawara understood why he dropped by so rarely, and he always appreciated it when he did.

“Morning, Suga,” Noya said. “Tanaka’s here with the new shipment.”

Tsukishima wrote down his name on the sign-in sheet and Sugawara checked the schedule.

“I forgot that was today. Is he pulled up to the back already?”

“Should be in a few minutes,” Noya said, grinning. “On our way here he honked at us and yelled some shit. Someone should be there to get the delivery soon. He wasn’t too far away.”

“Right,” Sugawara sighed. “How long are you staying?”

Noya shifted uncomfortably. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that later. I just came to pick some things up.”

“Oh…” Sugawara said. “Okay. It’s just that no one else is really here and Daichi is busy right now. I was hoping you could help.”

“Get this one to help you!” Noya said as he slapped Tsukishima on the back. It was loud and sounded like it hurt, but Tsukishima only scowled.

“If Hinata is too much of an idiot to be gone when his own book is delivered, that shouldn’t be my problem,” he said. “It shouldn’t be that many for a first shipment, anyway. Sugawara-san can handle it.”

“Hinata’s first novel went bestseller last time,” Sugawara said, laughing. “We ordered a lot more this time around. I could use the help.”

“How irritating,” Tsukishima muttered under his breath, but made no attempt to head to his office. Instead he crossed his arms and waited.

Noya waved and headed down the hall. “Save me a copy! I wanna see if that little shit Kageyama did a proper job!”

“Sure!” Sugawara called back.

And then they were alone.

Sugawara stood, stretching as he rounded the reception desk. He smiled at Tsukishima despite the fact that his heartbeat quickened from mild panic. He told himself it was stupid to feel so cautious, especially when Tsukishima had not even spoken to him, but his uneasiness persisted.

“Thanks for helping,” Sugawara said awkwardly when Tsukishima made no attempt to say anything.

Tsukishima shrugged at started towards the firm’s garage. There was a door hidden at the end of the hall past the offices that led to a small storage space and then another door that eventually led to the garage. It was meant to hold new novels until Karasuno could ship them out to individual buyers and local bookstores, but the staff tended to use it as a multipurpose room when it was empty.

Tanaka was texting on his phone when they got to the garage. He hadn’t even bothered to turn the delivery truck off.

“Messing around on the job, Tanaka?” Sugawara called out, laughing when he nearly dropped his phone. Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

“More like waiting for your late ass,” Tanaka said with a wide grin. He waved to both of them. “It’s been a while!”

Tsukishima silently went to carry the stacks back into the storage room, intentionally trying to ignore Tanaka but the other stopped him with a light hand to his shoulder.

“No hello?”

Tsukishima glared at him. “We don’t actually know each other, unless you forgot.”

“Yikes. Okay then,” Tanaka said, pulling his hand back. He  was sulking a little, but didn’t look genuinely hurt.

Tsukishima grabbed a stack of books and headed back to the storage room, letting the door slam behind him.

“Same personality,” Sugawara said, flashing an apologetic smile. “He says you were different, though.”

“Maybe that’s why he won’t talk to me, too,” nodded Tanaka, looking pensive. “Noya tried the first few days he got back but then, well…”

Tanaka’s shoulders slumped and Sugawara suddenly felt selfish for thinking himself so unfortunate. The inexplicable incident had affected countless lives, not just those of lovers. Tanaka lost a friend. Noya lost two, and it showed clearly in the lines of their faces.

“Just sucks, you know,” Tanaka said, huffing. “This shit’s been so weird and no one has any answers but we’re expected to go on with our lives.”

“I think it’s better than thinking about it for too long,” Sugawara said, looking sheepish. “At least working we forget that something so crazy happened.”

“Guess that’s true,” Tanaka said. “Anyway, I’ll leave you with glasses to finish up. Call me when you’re done. I’m going inside to get coffee and warm up.”

“There’s no more cream, Tanaka!” Sugawara yelled at his back just as Tsukishima was coming back.

“Then I’ll put in extra sugar!” Tanaka screamed. He gave him a thumbs up and Tsukishima looked at him with mild disgust.

Sugawara felt his annoyance spike. It was hard to ignore how harshly Tsukishima treated everyone, but it was particularly irritating when his callousness was directed at people like Tanaka or Hinata. They were all trying to make the best of the situation, and it never sat well with him when Tsukishima went out of his way to be hostile.

“It doesn’t hurt to say hello every once in awhile,” Sugawara smiled as he tried to pat down the anger prickling underneath his skin.

“I don’t see why,” Tsukishima said. He didn’t stop what he was doing and reached down to pick up another stack of Hinata’s novel. “We don’t know each other.”

Sugawara frowned. He wanted to say something, argue, but nothing came to mind, and Tsukishima had gone back to the storage room more quickly than Sugawara could regain his train of thought.

What bothered him the most was the fact that the other was right, to an extent. Sugawara wondered if he was being selfish and asking too much from him, but he reminded himself that being polite wasn’t that much of a hassle, especially when it came to someone as amiable as Tanaka.

The more he dwelt on it, the more Sugawara thought it was wrong, but he continued to unload books from the back of the truck at Tsukishima’s side in silence. The time to say something had passed.

It took about half an hour for most of the shipment to be unloaded. They worked steadily, and Sugawara was a bit surprised when Tsukishima didn’t once complain.

If Tsukishima had been an enigma to him before, this Tsukishima was even more so. It was like he had more to hide, and as a result Sugawara was more on edge than ever.

He knew why, too.

Sugawara set down a stack of books and chanced a look at Tsukishima. He was reaching overhead to remove some old newspapers in order to make more room on the shelves.

The words Tsukishima left him with when they first met stayed fresh in his mind. They didn’t fade, no matter how much Sugawara tried to ease them from the forefront of his mind. They were especially loud whenever he was with Daichi, and he asked himself cyclically what kind of person he was to go behind his back in such a way. What kind of person was the Sugawara Tsukishima knew?

“I said, would you move?” Tsukishima said sharply, instantly snapping Sugawara out of his reprieve.

He realized he’d been staring the whole time. Tsukishima regarded him with his general irritation, but there were specks of confusion littering his face. Sugawara didn’t move, but before Tsukishima could say anything he spoke.

“We all know each other,” Sugawara blurted out. “Even if things are different, there are still ties between all of us.”

“Pretending to know each other is entirely different from the real thing,” Tsukishima said slowly, and only after a drawn out pause. He stopped trying to move past him to reach the door.

“Doesn’t it make sense to try to get to know someone, then?” Sugawara said.

He heard his teeth grate slightly as his jaw clenched from nervousness. Tsukishima locked eyes with him easily, and he was annoyed that he seemed to be the only one wound tight.

Sugawara was aware of the defensiveness lacing his voice, but he was unable to stop it. Stress was always something he’d handled well, but the gnawing doubt that picked at him, coupled with Tsukishima’s behavior had worn him down enough to loosen his tongue.

“Are you trying to get to know  _ me _ to make yourself feel better?” Tsukishima challenged.

His stance had turned hard, and Sugawara struggled not to break his gaze or give him more footing.

“I’m not--” Sugawara said. “I’m trying to make things normal again.”

“There’s nothing to make normal,” Tsukishima said impassively. “Get it through your head that no matter how similar you think we are, we’re not the people you knew.”

“I know that!” Sugawara said, though he realized that Tsukishima was right. “It’s just hard to think about. It bothers me.”

“That we’re not the same?”

“That I don’t know what kind of person I was to everyone.” Sugawara said.

He was close to shouting, but it was hard to reel himself back in when he was teetering so close to the edge. Evidently, it surprised Tsukishima too, enough that he stumbled back, eyes wide, directly into a recently organized column of books.

He tumbled loudly to the floor and they broke eye contact. Sugawara immediately kneeled down to unsuccessfully minimize the mess, already embarrassed at his outburst and trying to find a way to apologize. Tsukishima sat up and that just displaced more books. They fell messily around him, and a few knocked the back of his head before dropping loudly to the floor.

Sugawara sighed, hands on his knees and head bowed in defeat. It was his honest intention to give a proper apology, but he chose the exact moment Tsukishima started to stand to look up. He was a breath from Tsukishima’s face, and it shocked him into silence again.

That odd, vulnerable look clouded Tsukishima’s face again, but he quickly looked away and tried to continue working. Sugawara was still frozen in place.

Something thin and delicate cracked deep inside him.

When he grabbed Tsukishima’s wrist, it was intentional. He made no pretense of it being a mistake, not even when Tsukishima looked back at him, completely dumbfounded.

“I…” Sugawara trailed off.

Tsukishima’s dazed expression and parted lips brought forward every recent fantasy Sugawara had tried so desperately to ignore. He hated to admit that he was curious, that he had dwelt on Tsukishima’s words longer than he wanted to admit.

_ "You and I developed a close relationship.” _

The opportunity was there and Sugawara was had never been someone who controlled his curiosity well. His grasp on Tsukishima tightened, but Tsukishima didn’t move, didn’t make a sound.

When he leaned forward, Sugawara was fully aware of what he was doing, conscious up until the moment Tsukishima tilted his head to the side and opened his mouth with a practiced ease. They settled into a hard press of lips that left Sugawara clutching tightly at Tsukishima’s hair as he stumbled back into the fallen pile of books, fearful that he’d lose contact.

Sugawara hovered over him now, breaking the kiss only long enough to see how Tsukishima was holding onto the front of his shirt. His eyes were unfocused and Sugawara dipped down again to press an open-mouthed kiss the side of his neck. Tsukishima’s breath stuttered and his fingers clenched significantly, though the warm moment was ruined when another book nearby slammed loudly on the floor.

They jumped apart as if burned, but Sugawara sighed in relief when he realized they’d simply knocked something over again.

Tsukishima still sat on the floor when he looked back, his lips wet and bruised. The reality of what he’d just done suddenly weighed heavy on Sugawara’s shoulders, and he felt a rising panic when he realized that he had enjoyed it. He wanted to do it again.

“We should finish before Tanaka gets back,” Sugawara said lamely, after a stretch of time. He was thankful when Tsukishima simply nodded.

The two worked silently after that, and this time Tsukishima waved goodbye to Tanaka when he left too.

* * *

“You have enough vacation days saved up to take a long break,” Sugawara pleaded. “That’s an option.”

Noya shook his head. “I can’t do this any more, Suga. There’s barely any work for me anyway.”

“There will be more work soon. Hinata is thinking about starting a series. We always need as much help as we can get with those.”

Noya did not budge. “I came to Karasuno with Asahi and stayed because of him,” he said. “I’m sorry. It was a pleasure to be on the team.”

Sugawara was at a loss for words. He was trying to emphasize with Noya but it was hard when he could hardly grasp the concept of Noya acting this way. It was the first time he truly felt like a stranger.

“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No,” Noya said. “Again, I’m sorry.”

Sugawara sighed and leaned back in his chair as he ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t argue any further. This Noya remained as stubborn as ever, and he knew he would not win.

“Visit every now and then, will you?”

“Of course,” Noya said with a smile. “I wasn’t going to ditch you guys entirely.”

Sugawara returned the smile, though it dropped gradually as Noya left his paperwork at the desk and he turned to leave.

“Hey,” Sugawara said as he was turning.

“Yeah,” Noya looked back.

“Call up Tanaka, too. I know for you he’s...not the same, but he misses having a friend. Maybe you two can get to know each other again.”

Noya’s gaze went a bit distant as he considered it.

“It’s weird, isn’t it,” he said, “That we have to get to know people we already know.”

Sugawara nodded. “We’re all trying to deal with it.”

“It’s a good thing we’re welcoming,” Noya smiled half-heartedly, offering up one last wave before leaving.

The building was significantly quieter after that, and Hinata popped out of the hallway looking guilty a few moments later. Sugawara greeted him.

“Is Noya really leaving?” Hinata asked, then quickly added. “I wasn’t eavesdropping! I swear! I was just leaving when you two started talking and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“It’s okay, Hinata,” Sugawara said. He tapped the pencil in his hands against the desk. “You were going to find out anyway.”

“That’s true,” Hinata said, stepping closer. He frowned, and seemed to hesitate. “Do you think everyone else will quit too?”

Though unspoken, Sugawara knew exactly who  _ everyone else _ referred to.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t think so. Noya had a special circumstance.”

“But don’t we all?” Hinata said. His fists were clenched at his sides and he looked ready to burst with restless energy. “I wouldn’t blame anyone if they did.”

“Hey,” Sugawara said, brow furrowing. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. People make choices, and that doesn’t necessarily reflect on us.”

Hinata face softened a bit.

“I know,” he said. “I guess I’m worried about losing people.”

“Is this about Kageyama?” Sugawara asked. “Last time we talked you said you were feeling better.”

“And I am!” Hinata said, instantly perking up. “But, I’m just finally getting used to it and...I don’t want anyone to give up on trying to make things work.”

Sugawara smiled. Hinata was as earnest as ever, and he was glad he hadn’t lost him, too.

“Then I’ll try to help as much as I can,” Sugawara said. “But promise you’ll stop worrying so much.”

“Okay...” Hinata grumbled. He looked slightly happier. “Se you later, Suga-san. I should let you get that resignation form to Daichi-san.”

Sugawara blinked, then looked down at the desk and laughed.

“Right,” he said. “Almost forgot.”

Hinata left shortly after and Sugawara headed down the hall, walking a bit faster than needed when he passed Tsukishima’s door. That was a problem for another day, he decided, and made his way to Daichi’s office, which he was surprised to find open.

Kageyama was standing with a copy of Hinata’s book in his hands, looking more content than Sugawara had seen him in months. Daichi had a hand on his shoulder and seemed to be congratulating him, but looked up when Sugawara knocked on the doorframe.

“Have you seen the cover?” Daichi asked.

Kageyama held up the book and Sugawara grinned. The black and white cover looked elegant. The title was set in a neat font near the top and read  _ Revolutions _ , with Hinata’s name at the bottom.

“I was the first person to see them, yes,” he said. “Congratulations, Kageyama. I know it’s not your first book, but I think under the circumstances it was quite a feat to get the project done.” 

“Karasuno is still one of the best,” Kageyama said, placing the book under his arm as he went to leave, casting a brief look at Daichi before heading towards the door. “What good would I be if I couldn’t work through this.”

“But maybe it’s best not to push yourself so hard,” Daichi said, laughing. “Take a well-needed break so you don’t regret those words so soon.”

“Yes, sir,” Kageyama said. He dismissed himself one last time and Sugawara shut the door behind him.

Daichi wasted no time and pulled him into a long embrace and Sugawara returned. The familiar press of Daichi’s body was a welcome thing after the chaos of the day.

“I have some news,” Sugawara muttered, still tangled in his arms. “It’s about Noya.”

“Did he finally quit?” Daichi asked quietly.

Sugawara pulled back, fixing him with a look. “You knew about this?

Daichi looked uncomfortable as he pulled away and went to sit on his desk. Sugawara followed him. 

“I suspected it,” Daichi answered finally. “Noya was incredibly close with Asahi. I knew from the start he wouldn’t stay. It was obvious.”

“Not to me,” Sugawara said, bothered by how easily Daichi said it, as if whatever he was referencing was also common knowledge to him.

“Ah, of course,” Daichi said, backtracking. “Sorry, I know I keep…”

He motioned vaguely with his hands, though Sugawara still managed to understand him. It was a habit Daichi was trying hard to break, but every time it happened, Sugawara was reminded more clearly of the gaps between them.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Sugawara asked.

“What?”

“This,” Sugawara motioned between them. “Is it unethical to date someone’s other self?”

“Yeah, well, I guess it could be considered cheating,” Daichi said, and Sugawara jumped at the word, going pale.

“Hey,” Daichi laughed. “I’m joking. It is a little weird, but you’re the same person to me.”

“Really?” Sugawara said, skeptical.

Daichi nodded.

“Love transcends a lot,” he said, reaching out to grab Sugawara’s hand. “I like to think of this as finding you in a different place at a different time. I don’t think it’s a coincidence you loved me in this world, too.”

“That’s kind of cheesy,” Sugawara said, relaxing.

“Don’t you agree?” Daichi said.

His hands still held Sugawara’s and he felt his heart race as he looked into Daichi’s open face. A warmth bloomed in his chest, but it was spoiled slightly by the dull guilt scraping at his insides.

“Yes,” Sugawara lied, not knowing how else to respond. “Yes, I do.” 


End file.
